Distance- 28 slow kilometers.

After seeing the great wall we boxed our bikes and managed to get them to the airport; more challenging than it sounds. 

Relieved to finally be heading off we realised that we were a little early, our plane wouldnt be leaving for another 8 hours.

The time went faster than we thought and soon enough we were lining up in a Chinese queue... An hour or so later and we were asked to pay four thousand US dollars to check in our bikes... Luckily Shanna had printed out an email she had received from the Etihad hierachy that said bicycles were to be included as normal luggage. 

Another hour later and at 2am we were heading off to Turkey. Still too excited to sleep we looked through the in-house movies- an amazıng selectıon...

After a stop off in the United Arab Emirates we landed in Istanbul around 16 hrs later. We made a huge mess in the airport, taking our bikes and assorted gear almost completely dissasembled and putting everything back together again. Two hours later and we were cycling towards Istanbul!!!

Initially cycling into the Turkish capital was a scary affair, traffic flying past us at light speed, and sometimes seeming to only swerve right at the last moment.

But then we found a walking/cycling path that closely followed the bay into Istanbuls old town, the water sparkling with a beautiful turquoise hue, and we stopped many times to admire the crumbling centuries old architecture in the cool evening air.

Whilst looking for somewhere to stay in the narrow picutesque cobblestoned lanes of Istanbuls stunning archaıc former CBD, partly surrounded by a 1500 year old wall, we found a man making kebabs on the side of a little laneway- we stopped to sit on a little pine wicker chair, and ate one of our best meals since...  
 

  

THIS IS A REPOST OF A BLOG THAT WAS DELETED FROM THE SITE LAST NIGHT. WE’VE WRITTEN A LITTLE ABOUT WHY WE THINK THIS HAS HAPPENED, TWICE NOW, IN THE BLOG ENTITLED ‘CHINESE, NEW WORLD POLICE.’

 

Before you read this I should apologise, a pre-warning of sorts, for changing tense several (not sure how many) times in todays blog.

 

This morning we left Beijing at 6am for the Great Wall of China.

 

The past few days have been not only fantastic, but fascinating. Our new Chinese friends Roy and Carol (we couldn’t spell or pronounce there real names, but fortunately they already had some western one’s ready for us), invited us to come for dinner with them in there home town, around one hours drive from Beijing.

 

We accepted of course.

 

Earlier that morning Roy and Carol had kindly driven all the way into the heart of Beijing’s bustling city to help us retrieve our bikes from the Beijing train station. If you’ve ever seen the train station you’ll know what I mean when I say it’s a sprawling mass of a place, designed to overawe even the most weary traveler with it’s monumentally grandiose formation. I would say it looks more… overweight.

 

Apparetly they still hadn’t arrived, but after some arguing, and me trying to go our the back myself and look, they were finally presented to us, albeit a little worse for wear, along with all of our bags.

 

Unfortunately our speedometers had been broken off our bikes. The funny thing was that we had tried to take them off before handing them over at the other end, but were unab,e to as they were permanently locked on.

 

Interestingly they hadn’t bothered to take the computers on the bicycles’ forks that enable the speedo’s to actually work- they would have come straight off. After this we cycled back to the Beijing City Central Youth Hostel, (another fine establishment), and Roy and Carol brought our bags back.

 

Our bikes back safe and we were off with Roy Jones and Carol, two of the best looking Chinese people we’ve ever met.

 

The drive out via the expressway was an interesting one, as I’d heard that earlier that day there’d been a crash, killing over thirty people; and with a decent imagination I’d foreseen my own grisly death in another such crash.

 

Well, it wasn’t to be, and after we’d made a few short detours, picking up Roy’s beautiful but exasperated wife we’d kept waiting on the side of the street for an indeterminable period of time we headed off to dinner.

 

This turned out to be a wonderful affair, all the dumplings, duck, vegetables and unidentifiable other things I didn’t know the name of you could eat, and before long Roy had invited us to crash one of his mates’ weddings.

 

Did we accept, well of course, who’d give up the chance to see a traditionally Chinese Western wedding. True paradox aside, that night we stayed at Roy's, having a fascinating discussion about Confucianism, Taiwan, Tibet, suppression, murder and Chinese autocracy, and just before being warned not to speak to anyone else about such things (apparently if we had of we may have been rotting in a Chinese prison cell right now along with Rio Tinto executives) we slumped into a wonderfully comfortable bed and fell asleep with an uneasy feeling. 

 
The wedding was a wonderful affair, unlike anything else I’d ever seen, and a bite more, and I might have even shed a few tears, but they could have been induced by all the smoke in the room. (You get a free plate of ciggies with you pre-dinner snacks, seriously-they were laid out on a plate!)

Lunch was a sumptuous banquet with so much food on our already over-sized table that plates wre being constantly piled on top of one another. Even if I hadn’t eaten for days I couldn’t possibly have sampled every dish… Although, I couldn’t possibly have wanted to either. In fact this may have been about the time the tears started flowing, but I can’t quite recall. After another delectably eccentric (sounds a little like myself) meal we headed back to Beijing, deliriously tired from all of the weekend’s excitement.

 

And so, much to your exasperation (if you’re still reading that is) the following morning we were finally at the self proclaimed ‘worlds greatest monument’ The Great Wall! (to death and slavery I might add).

 

After being scammed by the operators of the chair lift, taking our tickers and pretending to be the cable car, we finally got to the top just before 9am. The wall was incredible, the view made it even greater, the breeze made it cooler and the lack of crowds made it ‘choicer’ (a new word I just made up).

 

After walking up stairs for around 4 kilometers (felt like ten to my legs) we came to a section that said ‘DANGER, DO NOT ENTER. To me this was like saying WECOME SIR, PLEASE ENTER THE PALACE OF MANY VIRGINS (oops, did I really just thing that…) They would have been better of saying VERY BORING HERE, BUT KEEP WALKING IF YOU CAN BE BOTHERED! Now I was excited, woohoo here’s the good bit I thought as I jumped the barrier.

 

It soon became apparent others had read the same thing I did when we passed an excited Japanese couple that gave us the thumbs up (around four times). When we reached what we thought was the top of the mountain (mountain plateau), some time later, the track went bush, and this was were we found the real Great Wall of China.

 

Unmolested and untouched for must have been millennia, trees grew through the centuries old decaying turrets whilst rocks were strewn about the ruins from years of neglect, and here the path became difficult to follow.

 

It was just at this moment when I was clambering amongst the rocks that I saw it, a giant python, right before I almost stepped on it that was. My mouth clamped shut and you might have heard my heart beating from Beijing. But unlike  me this guy was a cool customer, and he slowly slid off and over the side of the wall whilst I was left standing there, with only a little dampness in my pants to prove the encounter ever happened.

(Note: As I write this in a Starbucks at Beijing Airport I am distracted by the man next to me who has picked his nose with seven different fingers and wiped at least three boogers on his shirt.)

During our time in Kunming we've discussed our impressions of China, a country which really is so different to the image we'd drawn up in our minds. 

We expected factories upon factories, but found small villages built into the side of beautiful mountains. We anticipated forests and were surprised by many dry dusty plains. And yet in the South we also found dense monsoonal lakes and swamps. 

We found a country with advanced sport stadiums and primitive hospitals; people who went out of their way to help us, some who treated us as family and others who ignored our pleas for help or tried to swindle us.

China is definitely different to what we're used to back home, and our experiences have been an eclectic collection of polar extremes.

One day we’d been waiting on a corner for a taxi for an hour (after being at the hospital on a day when Sam felt particularly bad), and just when we flagged one down a Chinese girl jumped in. When we tried to explain to her that we were there first she just gave us a knowing look and laughed. 

When pedestrian lights go green cars still drive through. On the footpath I was nearly hit by a police car! Silly me for not expecting it. And every time we walked or rode in China we had close encounters with motorcyclists who sped around us, sometimes brushing against us, yet always calm and confident of where they were going (usually talking on a phone at the same time).

We've finally learnt the Chinese system of queuing. Push as hard as everyone else and when someone pushes in front of you, yell at them. Now that we understand this system we wonder why we initially struggled against it.

I admit that sanitation is not what we expected... The standard of public toilets in China has been the worst of our trip, far worse than even remote Indonesia. Often the water has been turned off to the amenities, and the smell and sight of the waste is overpowering. How can they be allowed to disconnect water to public toilets?!

At the hospital, the floor outside the blood-testing room was littered with the cotton buds used to stop the bleeding. And the toilets were a mess of stinking proportions! Yet this was the place where six thousand (I kid you not) people go every day to recover from medical problems?

As a media junky I have been intrigued and entertained by the English news service on TV. All the news stories expound how China is the new world leader and the whole world is watching them. And people accept that. Those quoted on the news always praise the government for a job well done; there is never a critical word. China must look pretty good through the perpetual eyes of rose-coloured glasses.


And when life is not rosy it seems easier for people to turn a blind eye. Severine and Francois one day saw a man handcuffed to a pole being beaten by another man. None of the other passers-by seemed to care, and the only other people watching the scene were a sobbing 9 year old boy (likely the man’s son) and an amused police officer. And this was on a busy street in a big city.

But the spitting is what I remember most about this country. The grating sound of people hocking up phlegm as they spit often leaves me fearing some of it will land on me – like it did for Sam four times through a bus window. At least the footpaths are mopped every morning and the streets are clean again.

But what we've found in China, when we've paused long enough to take off our own rose colored glasses is a country filled with it's own version of beauty. 


You can start with the strong familial ties branching through CHinese communities. Whilst this is the side to China which may not be so apparent to the Westerner it is no less real. And when you do see it, sense it, it will have you wondering if all of your previous ideas were simply misconceptions. 


On my morning runs and in the evening we saw in Kunming and Beijing hundreds of people doing exercises in parks together. A healthy body is very important to many Chinese (excepting the effects of smoking of course). And it was nice to see people playing cards/dominoes in public spaces. People thrive on being together. 

And finally, we want to thank the many Chinese young people (late 20s is young, right?) who have befriended us and chatted to us in their best English. You'll hear more about them in coming posts!

The Kunming Zoo was a blast.

That is of course if you like laughing at animals being kicked over and over. 

Or seeing me throw up.  

Sorry to say friends, but the Chinese do. Well the ones at the Zoo anyway.

I don't know about you but personally I don't find any of these kind of shenanigans too funny.

And when they chained the monkeys and the bears onto bicycles with no seats, the crowd only roared for more.

They needn't have worried, a whole lot more 'party tricks' were in store.

WIth a shove and a push, their speeds increased.

And just when we thought it couldn't get any better (or any stupider) the boys in pink gave the desperate bear a leg shattering kick sending the bear, and the bike he was chained to, sprawling across the concrete pavement.

Another swift kick in the pants and punch in the gut (literal) and our friend the bear was back on his bike, that was of course until, for fits and giggles, he was belted off again.

Next came the monkeys. 

These little guys were jittery, so jittery in fact they looked as though they'd been sniffing the white stuff in the back office. 

By the time the show was over anyone with half a brain could have seen why those amazing iittle guys looked a little on edge... they were scared shitless, and that's understating it.

Imagine for a moment a monkey chained to a bicycle, flying like a rocket around and round a cage, no brakes, pedals to far to reach, then imagine that monkey being randomly belted off the bike. 

It wasn't pretty. 

But the people screamed for more. And so more they'd get.


Without a moments notice the master of disaster reappeared.

Sadly, the desperate pant-less monkeys, and the monkeys in the cage with pants on (pretending to be people), passionately yearned to please the stirring crowd.

Well, despite the masses screaming for more I'd seen enough.

After the performance was over and the animal freak show had been returned to their separate cages, unable to find any solace in each others company, a switch went off in my head.

The animal kickers, heroes one minute, soaking up the applause, didn't see me coming...

A bear is an animal, so is a bird, so is a monkey. 


What are clothes for? 


I figured a swap was in order, monkey for man, freedom for a cage. 

Give the animals a turn to run the show.

Now that'd be fun.

_________

Next. 

I went on a show ride, Shanna wouldn't go alone.

And what was one little ride going to do to me anyway....

It'd be fun, everyone loved it.

All I can say, watch where you walk. 

Especially if you see a funny looking white haired foreigner flying through the air... 

You could get sprayed. 

LOL 

PS- Happy birthday bro. 

We got up the next day, absolutely exhausted but happy to be in what are becoming familiar surroundings.


I spoke to the hostel manager, who speaks a little English about seeing a doctor and he told me the only place I'd find one who spoke any English was at the Kunming Medical College Hospital. Our travel Insurance then advised us that this was the only place they recommended in Kunming, so we headed off to the hospital.


Out the front and we walk into a swarm of people, cuing (pushing each other and trying to get an advantage on the person next to them- believe me, if you've been to China you'll know what I mean...) in all manner of places. 


Where do we go I wondered out loud. We both had no idea what to do so we stood there, dazed, looking around and wondering. Deciding we had to do something we attempted to cue at a counter, but no-one would talk to us and when it came to our turn, others pushed in front. 


But luckily, after some wrangling we managed to find a nurse (I think?) who took us up three flights of stairs through the masses to a big hall were people were swarming to get there blood tested en masse. After some pushing and shoving to hold our place in one of many queues, it was finally my turn, but it seemed there was some sort of problem and the nurse was no-where to be found.


They pointed to the paper's I had given them and yelled something in Chinese, whilst pointing that I go someplace else. Where or why I didn't know. The nurse had already taken us to the payments desk were we had forked out money for the privilege to get jabbed. Everyone was looking at me and after seeing me hesitate decided I was fair game. One person pushed up to the side of me, jabbed his arm out on the desk in front of me in preparation for a little blood letting. In amazement at the audacity of these people I hesitantly got up and left, figuring my only chance was to find the nurse that had abandoned us.


After only a couple of minutes we got lucky, bumping into our nurse lady. Not understanding what had happened she took us back to the blood letters where we were told (in Chinese) to go back down stairs and pay more money. 


Half an hour later my arm was seized and within seconds (so fast I didn't realise they'd done it) a vial full of blood was taken. As the needle was removed I looked down and saw old bloodied, large cotton buds used to mop up excess blood from freshly opened veins scattered all over the floor, and a cockroach looking bug clambering over them.


The blood was analysed almost on the spot, very efficient, then I was told I had to give a stool sample (I know you all wanted to hear that, haha). This was bizarre, walking into the bathroom was like walking into a public train station toilet (ala Ringwood station), it looked, and smelt as though it hadn't been cleaned for days... 


I'll save you any more detail and skip to the part where we were ushered past the masses to see a doctor who spoke a little English (think Chinglish). I was told to come back the next morning for another blood test, and then four days after that for the results.


In the next week we ended up visiting the hospital four times seeing and communicating (with varying degrees of success) with six different doctors, taking four different types of medications- so far none of which have worked. and learning that the hospital treats over 6,000 patients per day! The results showed that there was blood and a high level of white blood cells in the sample (the best word I could think of for poop) and I was told on the last visit that I should go back home to Australia.


So we're headed to Beijing in a couple of days via a 40HR train journey, and then we'll fly straight to Turkey. We have decided that leaving Asia is the best plan, and instead we'll change our route through Europe to cycle through Switzerland and the Alps with our friends Severine and Francois and then ride up to Norway to sail with Rune to Scotland.


We'll chuck up another couple of posts over the next few days about our adventures in and around the city of Kunming, most notably our visit to the Zoo where we saw some major animal rights abuses (particularly of bears and monkeys). And I'll tell you how I had a spac attack at the people responsible.


Cheers. 



 

Distance - 96km (plus an extra bit more...)

Sam was sick again. Well again is the wrong Word，because it never really went away。 it was always there with different levels of severity. But this time it was bad。and so I (Shanna) insisted that we return to Kunming to see the doctor, but this meant we had to leave Francois and Severine. 

The initial plan after the stone forest was to return to Kunming via a two to three day route through the Chinese mountains, camping in the countryside. 

Distance: 99km


Around 9 am we all set off for the stone forest, an ancient forest of stone that was apparently unearthed when the waters receded from the last ice age.

Getting out of the city was a challenge, but once we were out ofthe navigating was a snitch.

We had heard that the Chinese may be the noisiest people on earth, and so far we would have to agree. In the hotel foyer Sam and I had to go outside to hear each other speak, because one man on the phone was speaking (yelling) so loud.

During the night we had to ask to move hotel rooms because we could hear the karaoke two floors down as loud as if we were there. We moved up another two levels but we could still hear it. And it was terrible – they really couldn’t sing.

We also quickly realized that not many people spoke English. The info man became our lifeline – translating for us about food, bike shop locations, laundry prices and bus tickets. His information wasn’t always accurate, but at least it was something to work with.

We were in desperate need of clean clothes so in the morning I set off with Francois and Severene to find a place to get our clothes cleaned. We walked the streets, asked people, showed them pictures of a laundry (from a little book Francois had) and didn’t find one. The info man was little help here – he just offered for his wife to take care of it for us for 100Y ($17) which was way too much. The hotel wanted to charge the same amount.  We ended up finding a big metal bucket and clothesline on the 6th floor and did the washing ourselves.

The next task was to find a bike wheel. The first shop we found was no more than a cupboard with a pump and some spare tubes, but some local girls who spoke a little English got us to follow them down the street where there were a couple of bigger shops. Bigger, but still no wheels. Sam and I decided we would need to catch the bus to Kunming to get a new wheel. Severene and Francois decided to come with us, and from there we would all do some rides around Kunming, particularly to a place called the Stone Forest.

At the bus station there were buses leaving that night, but the lady (who spoke little English, mainly about bus times and prices) seemed insistent that we couldn’t take bikes. We had to go to Jinghong if we had bikes. It seemed everyone in this town thought we should go to Jinghong!

I went back again to explain that the bike was broken and we had to catch the bus. She seemed to say ok, but only on the late bus. When I confirmed four people with bikes she changed back to saying no again.

It was all very frustrating. We decided to just turn up an hour before the bus left and see what happened- maybe it would be half empty and so bikes would be no problem.

Talking later with the information guy he said that many foreigners take bikes on the bus to Kunming, so Sam, Francois and I went back over one more time. The info guy followed and proved helpful in translating.

We found out there were five tickets left for Kunming that day – we had to make a decision fast! We went to the bus station down the road (where the buses waited) and checked out the storage area under the bus – there was enough room for our bikes (including Francois and Severene’s tandem) so we went for it.

We ran back to the office, bought the tickets (the last four available) and then packed our things. We took our bikes to the bus station an hour before departure to see about loading them early (to make sure we got the room we needed and packed them the way we wanted). The drivers were not compliant. They tried to get us to leave, told us to wait at the departure area down the road. But we insisted. We tried to give one of the men some money but he wouldn’t take it. Luckily the ticket had the bus number plate on it, so we were able to find our bus and load it up. It took us 40 minutes to pack everything compactly and securely. Different people came to watch but no one stopped us.

Severene and I stayed with the bus, while the boys went to get food and wait at the departure area, in case we had packed the wrong bus. But luckily, we hadn’t. When the driver arrived Severene and I jumped on with him and rode to the departure area.

Our beds (because it was an overnight sleeper bus) were all together up the back of the bus, on the upper level. It was nice to all be together, but very squashy! Especially when the fifth guy up there turned up and had to get on with us.

Despite that, we were in good spirits as the bus departed. We had managed to achieve the impossible – get four people with bikes on a bus to Kunming!